Day 7: What Is The Hardest Thing You’ve Ever Had To Experience

I’ve read quite a few people’s answers to this question and the majority of them center around a dark theme whether it be the loss of a loved one, financial hardship, getting laid off, etc. However, I want to stray from that and focus on a happy topic that was difficult.

Love is hard.

If you’ve never been in a serious relationship before, or even fallen in love, it’s a big change. It’s not to say that loving the person is hard, but the lifestyle adjustment you must make is completely new. 

Let’s face it, when you’re single, you’re selfish. Don’t even try to deny it. You go out whenever and wherever you want with whomever you want. You can do what you want when you want because you don’t have to take into consideration your significant other. 

Yes, it sounds harsh, but you know it’s true.

When you’re in a relationship you have to consistently put in effort and time into nurturing the bond you two have in order for it to progress. You have to be conscious of the other’s likes, dislikes, and feelings. You have to learn to become a “we” instead of a “me.” 

It is a beautiful experience. Challenging at times, but beautiful and rewarding.

Day 6: List 5 Things That Make You Happy Right Now

1. God. In recent weeks I have taken great leaps towards my relationship with God. In the past few months I have become closer to Him than ever. I feel a change within me. Something amazing is going on and I couldn’t be happier. This change is influencing every aspect of my life for the better. It’s bettering me, my personality, my choices, and my relationships.

2. Abraham. This actually goes along with #1. Growing closer with God has helped Abraham and I grow closer too. It’s incredible to see the change that has not only occurred in us as individuals, but us as a couple. Now, arguments are rare, conversations are longer, and trust is deeper. By no means did we have an awful or even bad relationship before, it was actually quite beautiful. This change has just strengthened that beauty.

3. School. I’m exhausted. I spend all of my time studying and going to school. I feel like my brain is going to explode. I couldn’t possibly cram any more information in and yet I do. I keep at it. The hard work is paying off. I took Anatomy 1 in 6 weeks and didn’t get lower than a 94% on any test or exam. When grades officially come out I will be doing the happy dance. I don’t mean to brag, I’m just really really really proud of the effort I put into this class and the product of it all.

4. This blog. When I started this blog, I didn’t think that I would stick to it. I didn’t think I would find my passion for writing again. But here it is, I’ve found it. I find myself randomly inspired to write new posts. I’m excited that this website is growing the way it is. I enjoy being able to share my thoughts and not feel pressured to rewrite in fear of judgement. It’s a very freeing and very therapeutic experience.

5. Life. Life is so wonderful. I’m learning to be thankful for every little thing I’ve got and not be so easily upset. There are so many things to be happy about. I’m thankful for the fact that I am healthy and that my loved ones are healthy. I’m thankful for the ability to go to school and have the resources available to me to be able to excel. I’m thankful for the privilege of being able to express my love of God and not be silenced. I’m thankful for the relationships I have and the people I’ve met who have influenced me. I’m thankful that I was woken up this morning and given the chance to have yet another day to experience life.

That is by no means the only things that make me happy, it’s just a shortened list. What makes you happy today? What are you thankful for?

Have You Lived Today?

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’. – Erma Bombeck

Today I went to lunch with my Mom. We got into this very intense conversation about life and how we think it should be lived. My Mom thought that she hadn’t ever really done anything exciting with her life. She began to reflect back and I pointed out that yes, she has in fact done some pretty spectacular things. She’s made bold, life changing decisions. She’s pursued her passions and made some great memories on the way.

It got me to thinking, When I’m her age, what am I going to reflect back on and smile about? Right now I feel like everyone my age is getting their life started. They’ve moved across country to a new place, they go on vacations, they do whatever they want without worry. I recently ran into an old classmate from high school and he asked me what I’d been up to, Oh, just the usual — going to school and working. When I asked him the question you know what he told me? My buddy and I are moving out to LA to pursue our DJing. We leave in two weeks! Yes, he was leaving. Just him and a friend. He packed up all of his belongings into a few boxes, said goodbye to his parents and left.

It got me to thinking. What am I doing? I’m in school and working my butt off. I eat, sleep, go to school, and hang out with Abraham. I love school — I love learning, and I love Abraham to pieces. But I feel like I don’t do anything. I want to be able to look back and say that I lived during my 20s. I don’t want my only answer to “What did you do when you were in your 20s?” to be, I went to school. 

This is the time when I am not tied down to one place with kids and a career. I am free. I am me. I want to live it. I want to experience everything I can.

My goal? I want to learn. About everything. That is one of my greatest joys in life – learning. I feel like this world is filled to the brim with lessons, experiences, and challenges. So much so that there isn’t physically enough time to deal with it all.

But I want to. I want to spend my life learning, not just from textbooks and lectures, but from people, through experiences. I want to soak up everything I can. I want to use everything I have to propel myself through my life. Never stopping, just experiencing.

I’m tired of just sitting idly while my life flies by. Lately, I feel like the weeks are just speeding up and the birthdays are coming more frequently. It’s making me realize that you only have one shot at this life. Why should you just sit around, lazy, when you could be out living it?

So here it goes. Time for a change. Who’s with me?

The Lock-In

On Friday I was blessed with attending my Youth Group’s first Lock-In. That night, we all packed up and headed to Church for a night of worship. We spent the entire night singing, dancing, talking, and playing games. It was my first all nighter! Woot woot!

Anyways, throughout the night our band would start playing and we’d all worship for awhile. The moment I’d like to discuss occurred at about 4:45am.